But First, Coffee

Good morning. I’ll wait here for you to get you coffee, or your tea, and then we’ll start.Latte

So, today we’re going to chat about focusing on what your body needs instead of what you’d rather do. And I’m going to talk about myself, because I really can’t tell you what’s best for you.


My body is on overload. Pollen season is at a high. In fact, the other day it was raining pollen. You could see it drifting down in a fine mist. My throat and lungs have been compromised, and my histamine intolerance is on overdrive. I’ve gone through a lot of Benadryl lately. Since I can’t stop the pollen, the best I can do is to lessen the histamine and allergen load in my diet, and to calm my stress as much as possible.

Self-assessmentI finally sat down and took a long look at what my diet would be like if I took out everything that triggers my histamine intolerance, my food allergies, the fructose malabsorption, and the type II diabetes.

Believe me, it wasn’t a comforting discovery. If I stick to the foods that are safest for my body, my diet ends up being: romaine lettuce, winter squash, fresh meat and poultry, sugar free gelatin, and coconut milk. With an occasional apple thrown in. And, of course, my coffee—that’s my one concession.

Well, I stared at that list, thinking of the juggling it will require to take to make sure I get enough to eat, and I almost broke down and said “Forget it. I’ll just deal with the constant reactions during this time period.”

Then, I decided that was incredibly stupid. If there’s any way I can mitigate some of these reactions and feel better, I need to do it. I need to pull up my big girl panties, embrace the reality of my life, and focus on making my health the priority. That’s what this year is all about for me, really: revitalizing my health so that my career doesn’t suffer and so that the rest of my life doesn’t suffer.

So, yeah. that’s what I’m going to do. I’m giving myself an out on the day of our renewal of vows—which is coming this coming weekend.

But otherwise? I will spend at least 3 to 4 weeks eating this very regimented diet in order to calm down my reactions as much as possible. After that, I plan on adding in foods very slowly. That has been my downfall in a number of elimination diets I’ve done. I get impatient and add too many foods too quickly, so I couldn’t tell what triggered me.

I’ve vowed to myself that I will not look at this as a punishment. Because, truth is, it may feel like it, but really? Nope. The frailties of our bodies, the vagaries of histamine intolerance and food allergies and other conditions—these are not punishments. They’re the result of a faulty genetic mechanism, or for some conditions, an accident. Yes, it’s unfair. No, it’s not fun. But it is what it is, and everybody has to deal with their own issues.

So much depends on attitude. How you approach whatever issue you have makes a world of difference. Just because you have a serious condition, doesn’t mean you can’t look at things with a positive perspective. I have a friend who need a lung transplant, I have a friend who has cancer, I have a husband with a serious disability. They all pursue their lives without falling into victimhood, without blaming their disabilities for everything. There are hard days and there are easy days, but that’s true for everybody. Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.

So, I have decided to look at the positives of this basic diet, instead of the negative. And I will carve out a couple days a month where I can have a little something extra. And by doing this, I am committed to work toward my best health possible.

So, in the spirit of removing ourselves from “victim” status and focusing on the positive, what are some areas in your life where you need to change your perception? How can you redefine what you need in order to make it a positive, rather than a negative?


But First, Coffee: Overcoming Victim-Hood

10 thoughts on “But First, Coffee: Overcoming Victim-Hood

  • 04/23/2018 at 11:19 am

    I love coffee. It has been the one thing that even the smell of it brewing takes me to a beautiful place. I love it plain and I love all the different flavored coffees. It has kept me uplifted when I was down, helped me through the rough nights of long work hours and sleepy afternoons. Then I had my second cancer operation and the one thing that I could never have again was caffeine! With all my other medical issues, all the pain and side effects from medications that I put up with, I can never have a great cup of coffee again? I know it sounds like whine, whine, whine. However, when you have been sick for many years with 5 different medical conditions and something as simple as coffee has been there to get you through a day when you wanted to just stay in bed, it becomes a lifeline. Then you finally take a real look at how lucky you really are and that you have been given life in exchange for something so minimal. We put so much love into food and drink when it is only there to sustain our body no matter what form it is. when we should be more conscious of sustaining our spiritand health by not putting our desire for any food or drink any importance.

    • 04/24/2018 at 5:00 pm

      Yes, focusing on the benefits helps outweigh the negatives!

    • 04/24/2018 at 4:59 pm

      I’m assuming the recall is over–that was a few months ago.

  • 04/23/2018 at 4:54 pm

    I have always loved my career choice, but the last two years have been misery. I’ve been with the same employer for over 23 years , but because of changes in multiple areas and a changing job market what used to be a terrific place to work is now horrible. I’ve been paralyzed at the thought of leaving, starting over, etc.
    BUT, today I finally took a deep breath and applied for a new job! I’m not going to stop looking for something better. It’s taken me this long to figure out that I deserve to be appreciated for my skills, dedication and loyalty. I deserve not to be taken for granted and to have a work-life balance that allows me to be professionally fulfilled and still have a life outside of work.
    Wow, even just putting it into words made the tightness in my chest lighten up.
    As always, thank you for such a thought provoking blog!

    Would love to see a post on your vow renewal (with a picture or two )! Many congratulations and many more happy years to you and Samwise!

    • 04/24/2018 at 4:59 pm

      Good luck on changing to a job you love! It’s hard to leave something familiar, but never good to stay in a toxic environment. I will be posting on Monday about our renewal, with some pics. 🙂

  • 04/25/2018 at 12:51 pm

    Ok mine would be exercising… I always look at it like torture. But my daughter and I signed up for a kickboxing class, and we’ve loved it. I think going with my daughter and having that special time with her has made exercising fun and dear to my heart. She’s 13 and before I know it she’ll be all grown and out of the house. So I try to look at these classes with joy and not dread, and bonus I get to take my frustration out on a bag. It’s a great stress reliever.

  • 04/25/2018 at 12:52 pm

    Oh, and have a blessed renewal!! Many blessing to Samwise and you.

  • 04/26/2018 at 9:13 am

    I’m having a rough time as well with the pollen this year and that’s understatement at best. One of my good friends told me something the other day and I remembered it while reading this blog, Control the Controllables and Let go of the uncontrollables. Both has really got my brain in overdrive, thinking of the possibilities. I like another person who commented here realized a few months ago that I hate my job and have been thinking of the possibilities of what I CAN do. I decided to go back to school to further my degree to get out of retail. So I applied and took all the necessary steps, just waiting for the student loan okay. I also applied for another job for a bookstore, though only part time and still retail, its a temporary out. I also realized my restlessness was the Goddess and Loki telling me it was time for change and to grow. So in that I decided to get off my hiney and accept it because they’ll just keep pushing until I do. I hate it when they do that because I get settled and they start up again but what you going to do, fighting a God or Goddess when they’re completely right is just stupid. Anyway…

    Happy Renewal!!! Blessing and many more years to come for the two of you!

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