You know, as the pandemic crawls on (and trust me, it is–all this no-mask bullshit is bringing down friends of mine who DO mask up), and as we watch the economy shift, the world change, and our rights–if we’re women–be stripped away, I find myself retreating more and more back into my worlds where the demons may play, but Covid isn’t a thing and where the government generally has a good human rights record. I haven’t seen some of my friends in over two years and that hurts–I love them but it’s too dangerous for me to chance it.
More and more, even though I love writing my adventure stories and Big Bads and ooo-spookies, I need to make sure the ending feels stable and comfortable. For me, it’s a way to at least control the outcome of my stories, since I can’t control the outcome of this world we live in.
Adjusting to the “new normal” of having MCAS has been difficult. It takes away some of my control because, hello…chronic illness.
There are so many days that I lose at least part of due to reactions. I don’t remember the last day I managed to avoid taking Benadryl at night and, even then, it doesn’t guarantee that I’ll make it through safely, without another reaction.
Another new normal that has arisen since a year ago yesterday, we lost our Morgana, and then six months later, we lost our Caly girl.
Even though we have our beloved Ellie and Kirsi, those deaths were severe blows–both unexpected and unavoidable. Even as I write this, I’m sitting here crying. Caly was my heart, Morgan was our gentle giant, and they both went way too soon. Adapting to life without them–not so easy. We adore our new babies and they have squirmed and purred their way into our hearts, along with Apple and Brighid, but new floofs never ‘replace’ beloved floofs gone to soon. There is no replacement–there’s only expanding the heart to include new babies.
Anyway, as I write this, I realize that no wonder I’ve been feeling ungrounded and teary-eyed far more often the past few months. But there’s no going back. There’s no returning to what was. We have to make ‘now’ ours, make it comfortable, make it livable. Which is what I’m trying to do.
How are you coping in this Pandemic World?
7 thoughts on “Adjusting to New Normals”
Well, the pandemic did a few things for me that would not have happened otherwise. For one, I FINALLY got rid of a toxic job that had been slowly chipping at my mental health. 2021 resulted in me taking the thought of ending my life seriously. Scared the Tartarus out of me and so I went and took care of my mental health and also got rid of the toxic job. But it’s effected other things. Not getting certain things done and so I’m behind on a lot of stuff I wanted done last year and this year. However, I’m looking at it with an eye of, I’m still here, I’m still masking up, I have one of my two cats (he just had surgery and is now a toothless cat), and my friends and I are all doing fine. Yes, I see a lot of bad things happening and adjustments in life that are difficult, but at least some things are working out.
Honestly, yes, the pandemic has created some good things–the ability to go to virtual conferences. That really wasn’t a thing offered BP (Before Pandemic). That means that I can go to events where, with the MCAS, I can’t travel. And I’ve watched the wonderful work-remotely movement grow. My husband and I’ve wanted companies that can offer remote work to actually DO SO for years, and now it’s a thing. Some companies are pushing back, but yah know, they’re mostly just looking for the control they’ve had over the workers all these years.
On May 10,2022 I went to the doctor. Diabetes & Highblood pressure. Had to start meds. June got covid. Had all 3 shots & mask at work- Happy 51st Birthday.
To deal I read , listen to music and play with my cats.
Not being able to binge eat pasta is hard.
I only watch the news on my days off. So if I rant and cry I can be at home and then read with my cats or watch Doctor Who.
I try to let family & friends know how much they mean to me more.
I know it’s not the same, but spaghetti squash offers a viable alternative to pasta. It’s not as good, but it does help! Also, on the blog somewhere (you can search for it) I have a great low-carb pizza recipe! Good luck and stay safe!
In February I had to put down my black cat Pierre due to cancer. He was a quiet, gentle cat who loved to be near me. I’ve since adopted a litter of 3 ( 1 boy and 2 girls) when they were 6 weeks old and they keep me busy. They’re now 5 months old and exploring everything including the curtains and the top of the refrigerator. I don’t know who is training who on those adventures.
I haven’t felt comfortable enough to travel. Even though I’m a breast cancer survivor of 7 years I’m hesitant being around people I don’t know. I do go grocery shopping and I walk around the neighborhood but order more on-line. Thank goodness for books, like yours, that take me away from the harsh realities of what is happening now. I know that we won’t ever get back to the way things were pre COVID but I hope that there are better things ahead.
I feel like the boundaries of my world have shrunk. Tried travel after more than 2 years and despite all three vaccinations I got a bad case of covid. I go out to shop and doctor’s appointments – that’s it. I miss going to fiber festivals (I have a spinning wheel) and meeting new people. Thank goodness for ebooks, Zoom meetings and classes and PBS Passport offerings. I spend a lot of time on my deck room looking at the greenery in my back yard. I talk a lot to my Siamese cat Isabel, who is the perfect confidant.
I too have had to try to adjust to major loss and to living with chronic pain and illnesses.
A year ago last May I lost the ability to walk and was in ICU for a couple of days. I was then released to a nursing home and told I could never live alone again. I lost everything I owned, which wasn’t much but was dear to me (my books, my art supplies, and my beloved cat). I also lost my privacy and most control.
It has definitely been a difficult adjustment and one that I am still working on.