Let’s have coffee together, and while we do, I’m going to tell you a few secrets about myself. (Waits for you to run and get your coffee or tea or milk or whatever you’re drinking)…
Most of my life I’ve been a pessimist. My childhood had a lot of abuse in it, and my first marriage was abusive. I got used to looking at the bleak side of things. Oh, I always believed in my ability to write, and I believed in my good friends, but overall I found myself expecting the worst. I reasoned with myself, that way, I wouldn’t be disappointed when the worst happened.
And I want to stress: when it happened. Not if. Over the years, even with success along the way, I still focused on this.
But, then something changed. When I went indie, a couple of years ago, I was absolutely petrified. If it wasn’t for my best friends Carol and Jo, and Samwise standing behind me and believing in me, I don’t think I would have made it through. The three of them shored me up, like lifesavers in the ocean near a drowning woman.
Somewhere along the way, Carol and I started working with the concept of the Law of Attraction. At it’s most simple basis, this is the basic belief that what you expect, is what you attract. Expect bad things to happen? They’ll happily comply. Expect to fail? Chances are you will.
Now, this really isn’t as simple as some people make it out to be. Just because you want something, doesn’t mean you’re going to get it. But if you believe in yourself, if you believe that you can draw joy/love/money/success/whatever into your life, and you do the work, there’s a good chance you’ll manifest it. This is truly magick in action.
So, I started trying to think positive. When I felt fear, I would acknowledge it and then let it go. I reminded myself that I’ve always managed to make a success of my life despite the odds. I reminded myself that I am capable, I am intelligent, and I have an incredible wealth of talent, drive, and tenacity. When I wavered, I would talk to one of my friends and they would reassure me that yes, I could do this and push me to stand up to my negative thoughts.
So, things have worked out. Even though I want to increase the success I’ve had, I’m confident, I’m on the right path, and I’m happy. I have gone from mourning the way my career used to be to embracing the way things are and fully enjoying them. A change in attitude has made all the difference in the world.
The energy you put out in the world will be reflected back to you.
Think about the phrases you use on a daily basis. You may not even realize you’re saying them. Things like:
- I don’t know what I expected.
- It figures that things would work out this way.
- What did I expect?
- That’s just the way things are.
- Life sucks.
- Fuck my life.
- Wouldn’t you know it?
- If it can go wrong, it will go wrong.
All of these phrases reflect a mindset focused on accepting that the worst will happen. That negativity is a way of life. When we look at life through the filter of negativity, eventually, that’s all we see.
And one thing I know for sure: if you stop being grateful for the things that are good in your life, if you ignore them in favor of the bad, the Universe will stop bringing you good things. A little gratitude goes a hell of a long way.
So find the good in your life and celebrate it. Quit qualifying the good with negative modifiers. “Oh, yeah, that was good but…” Stop tearing down the positive things because you’re afraid they’ll vanish if you enjoy them.
Now I’m not saying that I don’t get angry, and I do take action when somebody screws me over. But, anymore, I focus on bringing positive growth, creativity, and passionate energy into my life and into the world. I have seen this in action and I try to embody this concept now. When a challenge arises, I meet it head on, and I expect to succeed.
I have come a long way from the scared, hurt, and angry little girl and teenager that I was, and from the bruised and emotionally battered woman that I once was. And I’m rejoicing in the changes.
I challenge you: Tell me something good in your life in the comments. Don’t qualify it. No buts…or howevers…just one good thing unreservedly and without qualification. Do it now. No one’s life is totally devoid of positive things.
29 thoughts on “But First, Coffee”
I came from a home where I had behavioral issues. No one in my life including my parents ever thought I would make something of myself. I was put down by everyone. I fought like hell into adulthood. I met the most amazing man who has been by my side for 19 years. We have a beautiful family, I have a career, and a fulfilled life. I am so blessed. I have had to look back at my life and have regretted nothing since I met my husband. He was my Samwise.
Mine would be that I’m finally on a health regiment and that it’s made my Crohn’s and fibromyalgia steady. I get to enjoy life more and spent time with my husband and kiddos. I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t have them, truly they are blessings.
Last August, I started a medical coding class. I was sure I would do well, and worked to pass the class. I passed it. Then I had bigger challenge of taking the exam to become certified. I was very nervous, but did my best to complete the exam. (Any unanswered questions were automatically wrong.) I began running out of time toward the end of the exam, so I “winged it” to get some sort of answer down. Of course I had to wait to find out my results. When I logged in to the website, my name had CPC-A behind it!!! I was so happy that I’d passed, and so proud of myself! My hard work (& following my instructor’s directions) paid off. (BTW – CPC-A stands for Certified Professional Coder-Apprentice. I’ll be an apprentice until I’ve had 2 yrs work experience or 80 hrs of more education plus 1 yr work experience.)
Congratulations! That’s wonderful!
My daughters, family, dogs. All remind me everything else is temporary these are what matter
I am so grateful for my husband and furkids! They are my greatest joys! Thank you for this post and Blessed Ostara!
Found out my health is better than I hoped for.
I am very thankful for a wonderful and understanding husband, my 4 children, daughter in law, son in law, 2 grandchildren, my 4 legged children, and my 4 legged grandbabies!
My friends and family who encourage me in my passions and give me their honest opinions.
Husband, son and my dog.
I have an amazing family and amazing friends who always push me to be better today than I was yesterday. I love them so much.
My children, grand children and friends
I am blessed daily in a multitude of ways and I am very thankful. I fought cancer 2 years ago with many people’s prayers and I truly feel that I am not done living yet. God is great, all of the time. My children and grandchildren still need me here.
My furbabies and my furry grandbabies
The best thing in my life is my husband. He has always been there for me. Even when I struggle with my depression he never gives up on me.
I am thankful for the days I feel well, my cat, sunshine and friends that help me when I need help.
My daughters and grandchildren are my joy and my support.
My hubby and my cat Loki who is named to honor the Norse God. They encourage the joy in my life. And I let them.
Another word we need to remove from our lives is “should”. Getting upset over the “should have beens” or “should be” is (to quote my therapist) “shoulding all over ourselves”. We often have no actual control over those things and as such, we need to learn to set them aside and not waste precious emotional energy on them.
Oh, this is so very true. I should have been…I should have done…the best you can do with that is learn and move on, and realize that where you are is where you are starting from today. Regret only focuses on the past, not the future!
I am grateful for waking up each day to my wonderful and supportive husband, and my three awesome kitties ~ Luna, Pandora, and Merlin. They are helping me to overcome a traumatic brain injury, day by day, and I’m so lucky. ♥
I am alive. That to me is a miracle. We found out i had a bad heart condition a couple of years ago and my doctors told me they were shocked i am alive let alone survived the birth of my daughter. She is my greatest joy. With her my life is full of joyous moments.
That is a wonderful thing. Being alive…can’t do much here on this planet without it! 🙂
My husband is supporting me through my gastric bypass on Wednesday 🙂 he was unsure about it but he supports me in what I feel is right.
My curiosity and imagination have been treasures of light in my life! I’m grateful for my husband, sons, grandson and daughter-in-law. And my cats, grandkitty and granddog too!
There were many buts and howevers, I just told them to be quiet and thank you very much.
Thank you Yasmine-I’m grateful for you too and your wild imagination that shines through all of your books.
My family is my blessing!
I am very lucky in many ways. My husband and my job!! Also, what a lovely post – thank you.
My granchildren are my greatest gifts from Gog and Goddess. Life is good
I meant to say God.