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Today, I want to talk about working within the confines of our limitations. Now I know how much it sucks to admit that we even have limitations. I know how much I dislike admitting that I can’t do everything people want me to, and how I disappoint people when I admit that I can’t be/create everything people want me to be/create. But the fact is, I do have limitations. And I have other needs that I have to pay attention to. I’m finding that the yoga I’m doing has forced me to recognize that sometimes, I have to make choices.Yoga For Every Body

I can either stay on the computer playing games, or I can get my ass in the bedroom and roll out my yoga mat, and actually go through with the workout if I truly want the benefits the yoga can provide. And I want those benefits.

I’ve been carrying this mindset through in other parts of my life. I made a choice that this week, I am not going to post anything political on Twitter, for at least a week. I’m only going to be posting about my books or my cats or things I love. I need a break from the anger I feel about politics.

I also decided that I need to avoid hanging out on Facebook as much. I’ve cut way back on Twitter, but on my private profile I hang out, talk to personal friends and other authors. I absolutely won’t accept friend requests from people I don’t know, but even cutting down to my personal life is beginning to eat up valuable time. Aimlessly scrolling through my news feed is a waste of time. If I want to contact someone, just drop them a message and boom, done with it.

Because you see, when I put my mind to it I can get my actual writing done a lot faster, and then I can plenty of time for other admin work that must be done. But too often, I waste time and then realize that I have to play catch up, and I end up burning the candle at both ends. And that’s not healthy. So, I need to make choices. And “choice” is another word for imposing limitations on myself.

There’s no shame in admitting that we can’t do everything. In my generation, we were brought up to believe that we could be Superman or Superwoman.

But the only thing that earns you is exhaustion. So, back to making choices.

Do I want to get my work done and be able to go play for a while or do I want to sit and scroll through Facebook, and realize I’ve wasted two hours before I’ve even touched my work? For me, the answer is obvious.

No thank you!I’m also starting to say no more. “No, thank you but I really don’t want to spend a day doing that.” Or: “No, thank you, but I don’t think that would further my goals if I joined into that project/group.”

All of this is an aspect of mindfulness. And being mindful is vital if you really want to get a handle on your life, if you want to control more of what happens in your life and not feel like you’re being run over by a steamroller. Because quite often, we’ve handed the keys to the driver of the steamroller and just stood there and let them flatten us. When we refuse to stand up for ourselves, we are as much as fault is those who walk all over us.

So, I’m taking time to think before I answer. I’m taking time to decide what’s more important to me. And then I’m acting on those decisions.

What are you doing in your life to actively take the reins? How often do you say yes to something even though you don’t want to say yes? Are you afraid of looking like the bad guy? Because sometimes we have to be willing to sound selfish when our peace of mind and body are at stake.

So next time someone asks you to do something, or go somewhere, stop and think about whether you really want to hang out, or go to the movies. Then, just open your mouth and say no thank you. And don’t let them wheedle you into it.

Bright blessings and talk to you next time.

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Inspiration Corner: The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself
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5 thoughts on “Inspiration Corner: The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself

  • 10/22/2018 at 6:54 pm
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    It is hard to unplug. Knowing others feel the same helps.

    Reply
  • 10/22/2018 at 12:14 am
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    I was recently asked to tutor elementary students twice a week. I’m a retired teacher but very involved in the local retired teacher’s association. I was even offered a nice salary with 2 assistants as the group of students can be up to fifteen 3rd – 5th graders. Taking this “job” would mean no break during the week. I recently got a fitbit to measure the distance I walk every day. I wouldn’t have time to walk my 10,000 steps daily and have time for my garden, leisure reading, and being available to go out with friends. At this point in my life relaxing is just as important as helping others.

    I’m glad that you are taking time for yourself.

    Reply
  • 10/21/2018 at 11:04 am
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    My case, I’ve done two things that I needed to do. One I did a while ago, and still stick to. I have a couple of friends, and they always wanted me to go out with them on Sundays when we would meet up. The thing is, Sunday is my day to just relax and not do anything other than pick up my stress relief items to help me prepare for work on Monday. I finally just got to the point where I said, no, I can’t do Sundays. They’ve gotten the idea and now if we meet up, it’s on Saturdays, or on the Sundays where I’m not working on Monday (I give on those only because I have Monday for my relaxation things). The other is in regards to my crochet. I do that to relax, keep my hands busy, meditate, and help me think. I generally give the stuff away or donate it to causes that need that kind of thing. People at work and what not kept wanting me to make this for them or do that. They didn’t want to listen if I’ve never done that, or my skills aren’t at the level or whatever. I would say things and they would ignore me, assuming I would do it. I’ve finally just said no, I don’t do that or no in general. It may sound selfish to them, but this is my relaxation, not something I’m doing for profit. The couple times I did things for profit, I just found myself stressed, frustrated, and critical to my own detriment. So, yeah, moved on there.

    Reply
  • 10/21/2018 at 8:24 am
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    That is so spot on, lady! I’ve started working from home with a third party that provides tech support for a major company I’m not going to name. It’s somewhat made it easier to take care of myself. But I’m finding myself delving back into the discipline my mom drilled into me when I was still in school and she was homeschooling us. Get up, get dressed, eat and get to work. We have certain things that we HAVE to get done before we can go play. This is the only way I can stay focused. I do the above, then I get my yoga in, I take my supplements before work. If and only if I have time, I allow ten minutes of messing around with whatever before work. Then it’s go time and I only allow myself to read a book during breaks. Everything else is shit out till after work to keep myself focused on the job. My Twitter account is sorely neglected, and I only answer Messanger after work. My 70ish parents are not happy about that but I firmly set a rule, I work with people on the phone so if you need something call hubby or wait. Most days you have to leave him a message anyway.
    I’m finding the discipline and routine are what’s helping me through the things I’m having a hard time doing or not able to do. Can I do splits like in high school? Nope but I can still bend over and put my palms flat on the floor and bend my elbows so I’ll take it. Thank you, yoga! And thank you Lady for all you do! I get it, if you are unable to do something because of your schedule or its beyond your ability, then so be it. I’ve always just followed your flow on the books anyway. It’s your work, not mine. I’m just happy I get to enjoy it.

    Reply
    • 10/21/2018 at 8:26 am
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      Stupid autocorrect put a curse word in there. I’m sooo sorry!

      Reply

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