Good morning and welcome to Inspiration Corner. Today I’m going to talk about gratitude—specifically, gratitude when you’re depressed or afraid.
It’s easy to be grateful for things in your life when the flow of your life is moving along smoothly and things are going your way. But with the law of attraction, you need to learn how to be grateful and find the positive when things aren’t going so well and this seems to be a big stumbling block for people.
I went through this when I was transitioning into being an indie author. I was receiving a lot of angry letters because people could no longer find my books in the bookstores (a lot of letters from readers who wanted cheap print books—as in Walmart cheap). A number of people were pissed that I was putting series on hold and told me I should just FORCE Berkley to give me new contracts (clue-stick: publishing doesn’t work like that. You cannot force a traditional publisher to offer you a contract). Letters from readers threatening to ‘stop reading me’ if I ‘persisted’ in this direction (um, okay then, hope you find a new author you like).
In addition to this stress, I was frightened because I didn’t know if I could make it in indie. I had lost confidence in myself over the years—not in my writing, but in my own abilities.
Well, my best friend helped me through this stage. I would call her once a week—we did (and still do) psychic check ins every week, though now we are able to do them in person.
Each week I would spiral back to my fear and she would talk me down from it. One thing she kept stressing—and it almost made me mad, though I realize now it was because I knew she was right—was that I had to learn how to be grateful for what I had and focus on that rather than on what was missing.
I had to learn how to let go of a perceptions and mindsets that kept me from fully embracing the changes I was going through. I had to mourn the passing of the way things were, and learn to embrace where I was going.
Each time, I would end up talking about how terrified I was whether I would have a career in another year, and she would guide me in embracing the new, walking away from the old, and regaining my self-confidence.
As time went on, and I saw that my career wasn’t over, and that I was actually enjoying this new phase of it, the ability to see beyond that fears begin to grow and I began to thrive, and my indie career began to thrive.
This period in my life was all about learning how to focus on what I have opposed to what I don’t, about learning how to embrace the happy and choose to forego focusing on the negative. Because the more you focus on lack, the more you energize the feeling of lack, and that’s NOT where I wanted to put my energy.
As I made the transition from scarcity mentality into abundance mentality, the more my fears began to lessen and my confidence returned.
I let go of thinking that I had to make all my old readers follow me. Even though some of my trad readers dropped away, a number did not and I was grateful they made the switch with me. I began to find new readers—ones who preferred indie authors. I realized there is a vast pool of readers who have never heard of me, who would love my books.
As the months went on I realized just how grateful I was this all happened. Now, I have so much more control over my career, I choose what I want to write and when I want it. If I need to shift around release dates, I can, and if an emergency happens, I can focus on taking care of it. All of these things were out of my reach when I was with the trad publisher.
I’ve learned so much about the law of attraction the past few years.
I’ve learned to let go of things that become outdated—even when I never imagined being able to let them go. I learned to trust my instincts on what I need to do. I’ve realized that yes, I am a survivor and I can adapt as necessary and thrive.
There will always be highs and lows during life, but I like to think that I am learning to navigate them with more equanimity. I am focusing on living a drama free life. I’m grateful every day now, for so many things. Even when the depression hits, I now stop and pinpoint where I might have let it into my life, and I work through it.
I am staying true to my boundaries and not letting people siphon off my energy or time. I’m learning that there are some things I need to just stop doing because they’re a time-waster and they don’t provide joy, and that combination is never a good thing. I’m learning to look for the great, instead of get bogged down in the ‘okay’ or the ‘meh.’
There will always be moments of sorrow and loss, or of depression, but the more centered we are in our personal strength and personal joy, the more grateful we are for that which we’ve brought into our lives, the easier it will be to navigate the tough times.